The Language Barrier

As has been mentioned Mrs. and I are going on vacation to Italy. And I keep reminding myself that I need to learn Italian. Or rather, learn some Italian. Or more appropriately, learn how to say thank you, hello, and goodbye.

But in our world travels we’ve never really had any difficulty communicating with others. And with the exception of the several times that for whatever odd reason we've been mistaken for French people, we’ve always found that people speak English with us. But that doesn’t mean we haven’t had some interesting language experiences though . . .


The Scene: Sandwich Café – Brussels, Belgium

In Belgium the people speak French. Mrs. was a French major in college. And even though it had been a few years since she’d used French conversationally, she was confident that she could communicate effectively if we encountered anyone who didn’t speak English. On our first day in Brussels we went to get lunch at this sandwich shop near our hotel. We walked in together looking over the menu options.

Guy behind the counter: “How can I help you?”

(Although he said this in French so it might have been "Can I take your order?" or even "Do you know what you want?" I don't speak French so I didn't know. That’s what Mrs. was for.)
I smiled and turned to Mrs. (my translator for the trip) only to find that she had disappeared.

Guy behind the counter: “(Something in French again).”

I turn to the guy and attempt to order two ham sandwiches.

Me (holding two fingers up): "Ham?"

I think I sounded it out slowly despite the fact it was a one syllable word and he most likely spoke English.

The lesson: When you need Mrs. to translate, remember that her social anxiety trumps her ability to understand and converse in French.


The Scene: Tous Bus – Amsterdam, The Netherlands

We had boarded the tour bus for an English speaking guided tour of the Holland countryside to see windmills and cheese and other Dutch stuff.

Female Dutch tour guide: "Now everybody speaks English, correct?"

A seemingly innocent question since the tour was schedule to be in English. Well, there is some whispering up front and the tour guide starts communicating with some of the tourists on the bus.

Female Dutch tour guide (agitated): "It looks like we have one couple that doesn't speak English. Now why would you sign up for an English tour when you don’t speak English? We only do two languages on this bus, English and Dutch. Now isn’t that-a stupid?”

The lesson: Don't board an English speaking tour unless you speak English. And don't mess with Dutch tour guides (she was probably a long track speed skater at one point).


The scene: Train Station - Inverness, Scotland

We had just enjoyed a boat ride on Loch Ness in the Scottish highlands and were on our train waiting for it to leave to return us to Edinburgh. An older Scottish gentleman is sitting across the aisle from us.

Scottish gentleman: “Aja gonta iva keya?”

This, as far as we could tell, was not English. Mrs. and I looked at each other puzzled.

Mrs. (whispering to me): “I have no idea what he is saying”

Me (to Scottish gentleman): "Excuse me?"

Scottish gentleman: “Anda gonit idakeeta?”

Again Mrs. and I look at each other mouths agape. We turn back to the man and just smile and nod.

At this point the man frowns, furrows his brow, and stops talking to us.

The lesson: Although English is the language spoken in Scotland, the heavily accented Scottish version of the language is not easy to understand. We later realized what he was probably asking was “Are you going to Inverkeithing?”, which was one of the train stops. Oh well, hopefully he thought we were French.