There Will Be Tears

Not to pat myself on the back, but those who watched the season premiere of Food Network Star last week might have noticed that I successfully predicted (or more appropriately, guessed) that Howie would be sent packing first. Alicia also didn’t let me down, crying early and often and leaving no doubt about who was the first contestant to cry. She actually may have set the record for earliest a contestant has ever cried, shedding tears when the contestants were first introducing themselves at the beginning (huh?). Alicia’s also on pace for most times a contestant cries in a single season after her breakdown during the Alton Brown challenge and then crying again for apparently no reason at the judging, to go along with the previously mentioned tears at the beginning. In fact, she might shatter the record by the end of tonight’s episode.

The only other comment from last week is that on the Food Network website Penny is listed as 39 years of age. This “fact” caused disbelief and laughter in our home as both Mrs. and Friend B were convinced that she was closer to 49. I said that with all of the tanning she must do (she’s basically a reject from The Desperate Housewives of the Jersey Shore) it’s possible that she’s aged well beyond her years, but they weren’t convinced. But we all agreed (and the judges are on board here too) that she should stop describing her food as sexy, she should stop describing herself as sexy, and that she should just stop using the word sexy in general. How about we go with “trashy” this week, huh Penny?

So what’s going to happen tonight? Well, I still think that Mary Beth has no chance to win this contest, so she’s the most likely to get the boot. If it’s not her, Chris is a good candidate, since he was the most annoying contestant for me last week. He’s who I thought Justin B. would be (and I’m pretty sure he thinks he’s Matthew McConaughey). I’m pretty sure at some point this week Bob Tuschman’s going to find it impossible to hide his glee over something that Orchid does. I'm fairly confident that Juba will do something that will make us laugh, but it will not be intentional on his part. I would bet that this is the week that Vic finally gives the judges some food to eat (well, he’d better). I’m positive that Penny will indeed still use the word sexy and I will cringe. And of course, it’s a lock that Alicia will cry.