A Study in Film Noel

Christmas movies are my all-time favorite. I watch them constantly throughout the holiday season. You can imagine how Mr. feels about this.

It’s a Wonderful Life is my all-around favorite. The day they stopped playing it 24/7 because of some shenanigans with Supreme Court rulings and a copyright was a sad sad day. My family though rejoiced as they no longer had to watch it a million times a year. (We had one TV in our house growing up. Well, one with cable that you didn't have to change the two channels you did get with pliers because the knob fell off. This led to many, many fights between me and my siblings. So I really had to stand my ground for IAWL) Now, I treat myself to two watchings:


1. When it is on NBC at the beginning of December.
2. When I put in the DVD player on Christmas Eve as I am wrapping presents.


All of my watching has led me to the following recipe for a successful Christmas movie:

1. Have a woman or man make the choice between a life with bratty kids or a successful career by getting the chance to live in the life she/ he did not take. Always pick the life with the kids. I am OK with the male version of this storyline (aka It's a Wonderful Life). I just hate the stereotypes it promotes for women and gag every time I see it in that respect. Why do women have to have children to be happy? I don't have children. Last time I checked, my life wasn't less complete due to this fact.

2. Have a precocious, borderline annoying, insightful child showing the way to all the stupid adults.

3. Have a single lady on the verge of being engaged or just recently engaged to a complete jerk be swept off her feet by the super nice stranger who comes to town and manages to be allowed to stay at their house even though he just appeared and she doesn't know him from a can of paint. Extra points if her mother, father, uncle, brother know this is the man for her and dissuade her from original guy.

4. Have the boy children have bad, supposedly cute, hair-dos. Especially if they have curly hair.

5. Have Santa be real but no one believe except for one child (usually too old to seriously believe in Santa). Who does everyone think has been bringing presents all these years?

6. Have a child be raised by single parent or an orphan. Two parent homes do not make a good film unless one of the parents is regretting their life (see #1).

7. Have a widow or widower, working in a shelter, church, school, or other place of substance meet someone who shows them the way. People who work in banks or non-pro bono lawyers are usually the bad guys.

8. Have a big city person go to the country and learn the true meaning of Christmas and subsequently move. No snark here. I am a big city person and would love to have a house in a small town that loves Christmas. Oh Stars Hollow, how I envy you.

9. Have someone work in a toy store. This is usual crucial to the storyline.

10. Have Santa's next in line make his way into mortal town to either find love or because he doesn't want to be in the family business.

11. Have a soldier somehow incorporated into the story. This is major heart-string material. As someone whose brother was in Iraq for fifteen months and was an Army brat herself, I have a soft spot for soldiers and their families. Watch The Christmas Stranger with Meredith Baxter. You will see a #1 movie for this. Get out the Kleenex.

And 12 (because there are 12 days of Christmas): Have the main character find out that the true presents are not ones you find in a box. Although, in my opinion, I will take those too.


ETA: The movie in #11 should be A Christmas Visitor. I didn't fact check before publishing. Whoops.